5 ways to make nail-cutting a bit less painful

Doesn't it seem like it was yesterday that you last cut the kids' nails?

How could they have grown back so quickly?

I can cope with most aspect of parenting, but nail-cutting is one of my absolute worst. Usually I just pass the jobs I dislike on to someone else, when Michael was a baby I used to get my neighbour to do his nails, but nowadays I can't seem to find anyone to delegate to. (4 kids = 80 nails!)

So here are 5 tips for cutting nails. Please let me know if you've any to add:

1. Pick your weapon - there's two main choices, scissors or clippers. In both cases you want to buy one that is specifically for babies. But within that choice, there's a massive variety of quality. I know this because I recently lost my 7-year-old Safety First clippers, which were great. I didn't realise how good they were until I replaced them with some from Boots which are awful. Be prepared to buy a few before you find a pair that suits you. Which to choose - clipper or scissor? This jury's still out on that one.

2. Catch them when they're soft - The nails, that is. I try to remember to cut nails when the kids are fresh out of the bath. Especially with toenails, this will make it far less painful for me - oh, and them.

3. Explain - To a child, nail-cutting must seem like a needless brutality. Another one of those horrible things Mummy does to me from time-to-time, like vaccinations. But like vaccinations, much of the sting can be taken out by explaining. And I'm not talking about making up some nonsense about the Nail Fairy. I simply explain that if their nails grow too long, they'll become uncomfortable, dirty and eventually make a hole in their socks and shoes. It's not glamorous, but it has been known to work.

4. Sing - I learned this from a ski instructor when I eight. Singing makes anything stressful easier. Although it never made a skiier of me, it's a lesson I still use today. So much so, that the song '1,2,3,4,5, once I caught a fish alive...' is the nail-cutting soundtrack in my home. You may want to vary the songs, to avoid ruining them by association.

5. Review - Since this job will come around again 
sooner than you'd like to think, lay the ground now by congratulating the children and yourself for a job well done. You may want to point out to the screamers that it didn't actually hurt. I like to teach them to say 'Thank you, Mummy' as well - which may remind them that this was actually an example of Mummy the Caretaker, not Mummy the Impaler.

But seriously, wouldn't it be easier if we just let children bite their nails?